The Penguin of Christmas!
Wait, that’s not really a thing, is it? Whatever.
Merry Christmas, Motherfuckers.
It’s everything that I love
“Advertising slogans characteristically rely on catchy, memorable expressions that push the boundaries of formal language. Trying to capture that sort of grammatical insouciance in another language may sometimes be too much to ask.”
[via]
Then put your little hand in mine.
Go take a look at this really shitty commercial.
I’ll wait here.
Hi. Welcome back.
I’d like to point some things out that I cannot help but notice:
- He skated into this commercial straight out of the 1970s.
- I don’t actually hate that song but in this circumstance, I kinda do.
- He’s going to die of pneumonia because he is under-dressed.
- That is a really ugly piece of jewelry.
And there was something else…what was it…oh yeah: Who in the hell is this commercial for? Because it’s not for actual living, breathing grown-ass women who have brains.
I feel like jewelry commercials cause us to regress about 500 years.
Thoughtfully chewed.
“This time, he had with him a judge and a vast memorial tablet. Gilbert offered to take them back to the place where Hubbard had died but, on the way, their canoe tipped up and the tablet was lost. Instead the party said their good-byes in canoe-paint with a brush made of Gilbert’s hair. Then, as they left, they picked up the remains of Hubbard’s effects, including the last of his shoes.
Somehow these had ended up at the local store, which is where we found them. Looking parboiled, of course, and thoughtfully chewed.”
-Theatre of Fish, John Gimlette
Se also here and here. I really cannot recommend this book enough.
