There’s going to be something referred to as “Pumpkin Caroling” at work on Friday. My immediate thought is that some well-meaning headcases will gather together and perkily sing modified Christmas carols to a pyramid of pumpkins, but who knows.
I’m torn. I want to see this; I want to run away in fear.
I mean, is this a thing? Has it been going on for years and I’m just now hearing about it?
Maybe they’ll all have pumpkins on their heads while they sing. That might be interesting.
This reminds me of one of the most excruciating workplace experiences I’ve ever had, and since it has crept back into my consciousness, you get to experience it too. In a former job, a coworker was about to become a father, so our manager, a terrible, horrible, and painfully awkward woman, took it upon herself to rewrite some song–I don’t remember which one–that she thought we would all sing at the (classic) conference room baby shower.
Terrible.
Nobody liked him much, and everybody hated her. What she imagined would be some adorable Hallmark moment was instead a funereal nightmare that went on for what seemed like hours. People avoided eye contact while she led us the pitiful singing her raspy, tuneless warbling. I think a little piece of me died that day. I suspect another little piece of me will die on Friday. Stay tuned.
Comments (13)
Oh, sweet fancy Moses. I just googled “pumpkin carol” and got a list of lyrics:
http://www.geocities.com/heartland/4175/pcarols.html
Of COURSE it’s a geocities website.
Oh my god. That’s terrible. I mean great. I mean terrible.
See the goblins rise before us,
fa la la la la, la la la la.
As we sing the pumpkin chorus,
fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow them as they ascend,
fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Join with all your pumpkin friends,
fa la la la la, la la la la.
Yeah, terrible.
That working from home on Friday? Feel free.
W. T. F.
This is why I’m so happy to work for a company that, since the main office is run by someone as anti-social as you, doesn’t even have meetings or conference calls if it’s at all possible to avoid them. We don’t come anywhere close to organized events such as this.
Why does management feel this need for imposed social cohesion?? Some asshole must have written about this stuff in some management textbook somewhere.
As a former HR manager, I have been witness to and very reluctant participant in stupidity such as this. It is embarrassing as hell, except for the people who are wired to consider this as a good time and bonding moment. They will tell you it builds teamwork, etc. (there is a huge difference from team work building to disgust over “perky” antics).
The stupidest event I ever saw was a regional HR conference in Columbia, SC. MC Hammer was putting on a show at the Carolina Coliseum and his entourage was staying at our hotel. Our first day of the conference was devoted to team building(a surprisingly challenging game) and everything was going well till our idiotic, nauseatingly perky and otherwise stupid instructors decided that each group should make their team report in RAP in honor of MC Hammer being in the area. I, along with several other members, refused to play and it was awkward and embarrassing.
My standing rule as HR Manager was to never publicly embarrass, coerce or otherwise offend an employee in a public setting. Personal dignity should always trump silly behavior.
This is the sort of activity that would drive me to french kiss a typhoid patient in hopes of catching death.
Maybe you should have that attack of Crepuscular Rays we discussed.
This sounds like an episode of “The Office” that seems so far-fetched and idiotic that when you watch it you say, “That would never happen”. And yet…..
I’m not sure whether we should blame C. Schulz for pumpkin caroling, or on the individuals who decided that it “was such a cute idea”.
On second thought, perhaps we should just lay the blame on the card companies who decided that Peanuts cards would be just the thing to pump up sales of Halloween greeting cards, a previously under-represented holiday in the greeting card trading line.
Perhaps you could run a fever and not be allowed back to work until the fever had abated?
Forget working from home on Friday; take a sick day.
(I believe it counts if the act of going to work will make you sick.)
Wafle House Waffle House? I’ll have to go check that out.
It gets better. Apparently, if you don’t wear a costume at work on Friday, you’ll be cited with some crime or other. Failure to Conform to Bullshit Requirements, perhaps.
Hey at least it sounds like Halloween in your office hasn’t been completely demonized (ha) by Christian fundamentalists and repackaged as an Autumnal Harvest Celebration. I’m not knocking any pagan/druid type references, I’m knocking those who think that dressing up as a zombie is somehow invoking satan. So dress as a zombie. A zombie nun. A pregnant, zombie nun.
I think you should dress as Jane. And if they object, tell them you’re dressed as “Jane Minutes Before Alien Punches Out of My Stomach and Eats Your Face.”
Sisiggy: That’s what she went as last year.
This year’s costume should feature a shiv. Or several.