Nature is red in whiskers and fluffy tail
Since I am now not even remotely Twitter famous, let me quote myself from there this weekend:
“Bruised and scraped the hell out of my knee yesterday scrambling to get away from a bear. Yeah, okay, I tripped over a rabbit. A RABBIT.”
I tripped over a rabbit Saturday afternoon, folks. I was out walking, minding my own business, when some sort of kerfuffle took place in the adjacent shrubbery and all manner of small and heretofore non-vicious animals spilled out in all directions including a cottontail rabbit that plowed right straight into my foot and brought me down to the ground on my left knee.
The rabbit is fine. Well, besides almost certainly needing counseling.
My knee is a scraped, bruised, and bloody mess, and the best part of this is that I was far enough from home to just say to hell with it and walk to Walgreens for some large knee-friendly bandages.
I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I only collided with a rabbit since A HAWK FLEW OUT OF SOMEONE’S BACK YARD ACROSS THE STREET FROM WALGREENS. Hello. A hawk. In Arlington. A half block from Crate & Barrel. I half expected to see a bear cruise up to Whole Foods with a couple of tote bags slung over its shoulder. What? I’m sure bears care deeply about the environment too.
The best part of this story is that everyone eventually concedes that I must be telling the truth because not even I could make this up. No, actually, I take that back. The best part is what some folks have said including “Was it carrying a pocket watch?” and “You’re the Jimmy Carter of our generation.”
At any rate, I’m thinking I might have to dress like this from now on when I go out.
Wit [updated]
So I’m in this book, Twitter Wit, that comes out today. There are some exceptionally funny people out there so it never occurred to me I would be asked to contribute anything to this project, nor did I have the nerve intelligence presence of mind to submit my own stuff for it. Thank goodness the editor followed up with me. I never know what other people think is funny.
My contributor’s copy arrives soon and I’m looking forward to seeing what funnier people have said.
Update: Oh holy shit, I really am in the book. Those of you who know me well know I don’t believe anything until I see it.
Pages 39 and 123 if you’re interested, and I know you are.
Meeting notes
7:50am: Who Let the Dog’s Out? blasting at the registration table. Why? WHY?
8:05am: Suspect this scone is actually a geode.
9:14am: “misexpectations” and “releveraging”
9:30am: …blah blah GINGER blah blah blah…”
9:35am: “I think the short answer is…” approximately 85% as long as the long answer.
9:43am: “We’re just beginning to paddle that board.”
10:00am: PowerPoint Hell.
10:15am: “Culture of Wonderment”
11:45am: Every pause? Ends as a question? Why? Is that? Please stop it?
1:05pm: Please don’t say “shout out.” Thank you.
1:20pm: “get granular”
1:32pm: [I need a nap.]
1:46pm: “+ve’s” and “-ve’s”
1:55pm: penetration, penetration, penetration
2:42: “…blah blah GINGER blah blah blah…”
3:50pm: NO THERE ARE NO MORE QUESTIONS PLEASE SHUT UP THANK YOU. [attention span completely breached]
Lefty
Today is International Left Handers Day.
Yes, we get a special day once a year to feel extra weird about ourselves and risk being subjected to all sorts of terrible jokes passed off as compliments, if anybody even notices that today is a day (which I didn’t even know about until this morning) or notices that I am left-handed. It is amazing how many people do not notice this.
And sometimes it is a nuisance because many things are designed with a slight right-handed bias. They just are. My camera’s controls are all on the right. I find this irritating but there is nothing to be done about it so I adapt. It isn’t like I am going to stop taking photos. Still, I cannot take quite this seriously.
And I must say that I hate the us vs. them mentality when it comes to handedness. I joke about it sometimes but I don’t actually believe it. If you, the right-handed majority, are out to get me, you’re doing a really shitty job. I don’t want a left handers day poster. I don’t want to rearrange everything to my liking and lord it over anyone. I don’t want to hear that “only lefties are in their right mind” crap either.
So yeah. Woo-hoo. International Left Handers Day 2009.
Your feedback is very important!
I need to add some new photos to the etsy shop. All of my photos are here. If you have suggestions, leave them in the comments. You’re not obligated to buy anything if you make suggestions (although surely I don’t need to tell you that). I’m just curious about what people like. Thanks.
Lonesome duck
Overheard at the Capitol Reflection Pool:
Father: “See those ducks?”
Kid: “Yeah.”
Father: “We’re gonna ride them later.”
Kid: “Cool!”
Father: “And see that castle-looking building over there? Know what they call it?”
Kid: “No. What?”
Father: “The Castle.”
Kid: “…”
And that’s when I completely cracked up.
