Like bolts (updated)

“I’m not what you’d call a dog person, far from it, but this particular one—a whippet, I think—has alarmingly big nipples, huge, like bolts screwed halfway into her belly. More interesting was that she seemed aware of it. You could see it in her eyes as she turned to face the painter, ‘Oh, not now,’ she appeared to be saying, ‘Have you no decency?’”

-When You Are Engulfed in Flames, David Sedaris

Just this week I was looking at a display of small plastic toys in a giant American toy store that shall remain nameless and was completely riveted by the bright pink pigs. Well, sows would be more appropriate, I guess, based on the incredibly aggressive nipples they were sporting. Each had two rows of what appeared to be, after looking at them for a full minute, possibly hundreds of nipples. Thousands maybe. Okay, dozens. A dozen.

The thing that will shock all of you the most, at least those of you who are regulars and not people who found your way here doing a search for “hundreds of nipples,” is that I did not take a photo of said small plastic be-nippled sows. You’ll just have to settle for this instead.

Here you go.

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Comments (9)

  1. Erik R. wrote::

    Pig nipples! This blog is getting better every day.

    Here’s another picture that’s fairly on topic.

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 3:42 am #
  2. jagosaurus wrote::

    Erik: Studies show that customers demand firm slices and more nipples than you can shake a stick at. I’m just trying to meet the demand in my own small way.

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 5:27 am #
  3. sisiggy wrote::

    There’s “nipples” again. I hate saying that word. This will not be the topic of discussion a dinner tonight’; so I don’t have to say it.

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 8:03 am #
  4. jagosaurus wrote::

    sisiggy: You’ll talk about firm slices at dinner but not nipples? I’m just trying to understand.

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 10:07 am #
  5. Suzette wrote::

    Haven’t you heard? Pictures of animal nips are the replacing pictures of cats as the new in thing for trendy bloggers.

    http://suzette.typepad.com/suzette/2007/12/the-goats-are-t.html

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 11:00 am #
  6. jagosaurus wrote::

    Suzette: Heh.

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 12:52 pm #
  7. a very public sociologist wrote::

    I can certify this is the first blog I’ve ever come across to devote a post to pig nipples. A first in blogging! We’re witnessing history here!

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 2:48 pm #
  8. jagosaurus wrote::

    avps: Your enthusiasm touches me deeply.

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 7:23 pm #
  9. kilowatthour wrote::

    um, gross. also: i have a contribution, oddly.
    http://tinyurl.com/5dbb2a

    Sunday, June 15, 2008 at 10:34 pm #