Sometimes I can stand a chatty cab drive and sometimes I cannot. I was somewhere in between today but decided to indulge this particular cab driver because he was so weirdly entertaining.
He started talking to me about politics almost as soon as my ass hit the seat. This is completely understandable seeing as how I was in said cab in Washington, DC.
He informed me of all the following things, in no particular order:
- Nick [sic] Romney seems pretty okay.
- John McCain is a good candidate. They’ve been to some of the same VFW meetings and he finds him a solid military man. Oh, and the military is really for men, according to the cabby. Women should raise the kids and cook dinner. Although (apologies for this tangent) when he saw a woman in uniform crossing the street in front of us, he said it made him proud to see women in the military. Maybe he thinks they serve by raising little be-uniformed kids and heating or hydrating the MREs for the guys.
- “Osama, er, Obama” seems pretty okay despite his name. He hasn’t heard anything bad about him so far.
- The current president is a nut.
- Thompson was a zombie.
- Huckabee is flaky.
- Giuliani should just drop out. No one cares about him.
- He has insider information that Senator Clinton has engaged in some “lesbian shenanigans” in town. I won’t go into why this is so appallingly stupid to me but suffice it to say that if there are two things that don’t shock me they are “lesbians” and anything described as “shenanigans.”
- Edited to add: And he can’t stand John Edwards because he is dragging his wife though this campaigning despite the cancer. (Because, I suppose, Elizabeth Edwards, being a mere woman, doesn’t have any say in any of this…?)
No need to thank me for this exciting political intel. In the grand tradition of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation, I think it is important to share and enjoy.
Comments (18)
Hilarious.
Well, now I know how to vote.
Christina: Yeah. He was awesome.
NMA: I feel so good having provided this public service.
*beams*
That’s what I call a bounty. That’s like a 12-point buck of a cab ride.
That Nick Romney, I tell you what.
Who knew that the wealth of all knowledge rested with a DC cabby?
Yeah. I tend to be less than enthusiastic when cab drivers, barbers, or airplane seatmates think it is their duty to be chatty. This, however, this is COMEDY GOLD.
And that settles it, I’m voting for Nick.
I think a “Nick – Osama” ticket could go all the way.
What I don’t understand is what former President Clinton is doing driving a DC cab?
Ba-dum-bum tsssssss
(now where was that rimshot audio link?)marigoldie: Truly.
gwynne: Any other cab driver I suspect, could have told you that they are THE best source of breaking news and political analysis.
sgazzetti: Yes, I somehow knew you felt the same way about chatty folks but would instantly understand the pure glory of this particular situation. I really would have preferred a silent trip but the man had things to say and I couldn’t help it. I found myself encouraging him.
Erik: Clearly.
CJ: Har. Please note that I added the rimshot link back AND added it to your comment.
Find out who you should vote for here: http://www.dehp.net/candidate/
Many thanks. And my anti-spam word this time? Bollocks. Thanks for that too.
Golly!
I have to be in the right frame of mind to bear up under other people’s political pronouncements, but if I were in the right mood, I’d have done just what you did. And kudos for sharing.
I dig your antispam words, too.
simon: Thanks for that link. My positions won’t vary but I bet my preferred candidates will depending on how much I weigh each position.
Meetzorp: I was kind of trapped but still, he was so entertaining I couldn’t help getting interested in what he was going to say next.
He obviously didn’t see the horrendous Nick Romney ‘Who Let the Dogs Out ” pr clip.
Hey! A guy in the diner told me the same things this morning.
Fun blog. Thanks
David: Welcome! The experts* are everywhere aren’t they?
*And I use this term loosely.
What, you didn’t magically seal his mouth with one of your — welcoming — ahem — glares? You’re going soft.
sisiggy: I was wearing my polarized sunglasses. I have a theory that the polarization blocks the mouth-sealing glare. It’s just a theory, though.
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