I mean … honestly.
From the write-up (to which I have added some comments):
Now you can more easily achieve the buttocks you envision, on top of your physical training [Hmmmmm ... really? Physical training is necessary? You cannot just sit on your ass and reshape it?] by using the Bottom Reformulator. It’s been designed by a team of plastic surgeons from Taiwan to enhance the shape of your buttocks and to make them appear more toned and tight. These doctors concluded that body pressure on a curved memory-foam pillow can, after an allotted period of time [that period of time being infinity], reshape your bottom. Use our memory foam cushion to curve your bottom just the way you want it to be shaped. [What if someone wants her ass to be shaped like a daisy or a teepee or a giraffe?] You’ll be on your way to attaining that starlet figure [just the starlet buttocks really] with the Bottom Reformulator. It’s been vigorously tested [How can sitting be vigorous?] and is proven to work [Bullshit]. You’ll see [vague and unspecified] results within 90 days. If you’re not satisfied, you can get a full refund within that time. A wonderfully-shaped bottom will do wonders for your world.
This reminds me of … something.
Comments (4)
Oooh, teepee! I want mine to be shaped like a teepee! Vigorously.
It was Menken who said, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people and their enormormous, lumpen asses.”
You know, I don’t think the word lumpen is used enough these days.
Hey, I’m doing what I can here. By the way, I made the word ‘enormous’ even more enormous.
I’m going to try to work “enormormous” and “lumpen” into every conversation I have today.