The most casually alarming headline I’ve seen in some time.
Body Parts Trade Lacks Oversight
Oh.
You don’t say?
Well.
Someone else’s fortune
…was given to me today:
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
Ha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
…
HeeheehahaHAHAHAheeheeheeeeeee.
HAHAHA.
Woooooooo.
…
That’s funny.
Into each life some rain must fall
LIES.
It hasn’t rained much at all this summer and I have whined to various people about this until I am cerain they’d like to beat me to death with my own shoes. Still, I don’t like extremes, particularly as they apply to weather, so I would like it to rain now please.
It should start at any moment the meteoroligists tell us. Yesterday was pregnant with potential. Gray clouds hung low in the sky. The occasional drop fell. And I think it may have actually rained a bit overnight.
Still.
Ernesto is coming our way (they say) and some other rain is almost right here on top of us (apparently) so this is supposed to come together and possibly bring us some flash flooding. Things are so crispy that I expect the saturation to take a while, but once it reaches that point, topsoil, shrubbery, cars, and people will start floating toward the Chesapeake Bay.
I will try to resist the urge to run out into a downpour and let myself get soaked. That kind of thing simply isn’t done around here.
I will also try to resist the urge to whine — about three days from now — about how much rain has fallen and how I haven’t seen the sun since I was little.
A wonderfully-shaped bottom will do wonders for your world.
I mean … honestly.
From the write-up (to which I have added some comments):
Now you can more easily achieve the buttocks you envision, on top of your physical training [Hmmmmm ... really? Physical training is necessary? You cannot just sit on your ass and reshape it?] by using the Bottom Reformulator. It’s been designed by a team of plastic surgeons from Taiwan to enhance the shape of your buttocks and to make them appear more toned and tight. These doctors concluded that body pressure on a curved memory-foam pillow can, after an allotted period of time [that period of time being infinity], reshape your bottom. Use our memory foam cushion to curve your bottom just the way you want it to be shaped. [What if someone wants her ass to be shaped like a daisy or a teepee or a giraffe?] You’ll be on your way to attaining that starlet figure [just the starlet buttocks really] with the Bottom Reformulator. It’s been vigorously tested [How can sitting be vigorous?] and is proven to work [Bullshit]. You’ll see [vague and unspecified] results within 90 days. If you’re not satisfied, you can get a full refund within that time. A wonderfully-shaped bottom will do wonders for your world.
This reminds me of … something.
Give your face an extra shine
In my continuing Signs of the Apocalypse series, I present the Human-powered LED Nose Ring.
If you are looking for information on Señor Wences…
…and, judging by my site statistics, MANY OF YOU ARE, don’t look here. I made some passing reference to this character in a post long ago and now my site is one of the top references for reasons unknown to me. EVERY SINGLE DAY someone finds this site while looking up Señor Wences.
GO HERE INSTEAD. PLEASE. OR HERE.
In fact, go anywhere but this blog. Really. I wasn’t even alive when Señor Wences was popular, okay?
But tell me this before you go: Why are so man people from all over the world looking up Señor Wences online? What is the attraction that triggers daily searches for information on this creature?
Ugly boots, candy bikinis, and the northern lights
Miscellaneous things in this post.
My very brave (Crazy?) friend Andrea actually put these scary boots on in Payless Shoes last night. We go to Payless because we cannot help ourselves. Among all the magic ho shoes, rock-laden strappy sandals, and hopeless clunky wedges occasionally one finds a wonderful little pair of sandals or flats. It has happened at least once. To someone. Somewhere. Okay. Mostly we go because the shoes are so awful. That the boots didn’t just spontaneous combust — nay, that the entire store doesn’t spontaneously combust — is a miracle really.
It is very humid here. Very, very, very humid. Have I whined about that sufficiently on this here blog? That I am from the humid southeastern United States doesn’t mean I like this shit. That I am from the Appalachian mountains of the southeastern United States doesn’t mean I like snow and ice. Yes, that’s right. I want moderate weather all the time. Low humidity, cool breezes and warm (not hot) sunlight. So there. I’m not EXTREME in my weather preferences.
A friend just returned from the Outer Banks and was heartbroken to tell me that he finally chickened out on getting me the candy bikini for a souvenir. I could have kept it in the GHASTLY charming mug Sisiggy brought back from Ocracoke a few weeks earlier (picture coming as soon as I remember to take it).
Also, I could have worn the bikini to my friends’ upcoming wedding. It would be festive and cool, and the wedding is going to be on a boat, so what better attire than a candy bikini, I ask you? I mean it. I guess I’ll have to wear something more traditional. Sigh.
Speaking of water, the one-year anniversary of Hurricane Katrina has brought some almost acknowledgement that Oh Yeah, the Hurricane Thingy Devastated the Entire Coastline of Mississippi Where It Actually Came Aground. Sorry. This is still a sore spot with me as I have dear friends from there and know that Mississippi is as much a state as Louisiana. But I’d prefer to not get on a rant about this.
So, other things of interest:
Glosoli (is there anyone who hasn’t seen this?)
Two – TWO – of my favorite things
Beauty products and science: The Beauty Brains
It should be noted that I found this site in the Netwatch section of Science magazine.
Wooooo. I’m feeling a little faint….
