So I hauled my ass to the doctor’s office today to sit for an hour or so and pay $15 to be told that I have Rhinovirus.
Could be worse. I could have Hippovirus or Komodovirus or Hyenavirus.
And I’m sure no one has ever made that play-on-words joke before.
At least now I can go from taking useless general-purpose medication to useless cold-specific medication. Medication that makes me very sleepy and woozy. Medicine that triggers weird dreams involving photography, drug stores, propeller arms, Henry Rollins, thermometers, goat butts, not models, blogging, bad (but adorable) dogs, and other things I won’t mention here. I’ve already said too much.
The cats are delighted of course because the only thing better than furniture to sleep on is warm furniture to sleep on, so they’ve been literally on me all day.
My friend Ogre says that the way to defeat a rhinovirus is to make it uncomfortable. As he claims rhinoviruses like cool, damp, dark environments, he recommends that I accost my nostrils with a flashlight and a hairdryer. I … no.
And now I think I will go to bed and have more weird dreams.
Comments (4)
Da ‘Pode is honored to be a part of your dream. Da ‘Pode does better in the subconscious.
Well, with the cats keeping the furniture at the proper temperature, I am sure the germs will be cooked out of you in no time. If your nose changes, will you peep around a door to show us? Just the nose will do, really.
Spicy hot food will have the same effect! Chili peppers for all! Indian? Thai?
You’re getting some GREAT advice here. Hope you survive the cures!