Homesick
Marie at Blue Ridge Blog has posted a photo album of her recent ramblings in the mountains of Western North Carolina, where half of my family is from. The photos are, as usual, lovely. And Harley (her dog) is a badass.
Pompeii of the east
I happened to catch a program on this about a month ago on cable and was completely riveted.
An expedition to the site of the largest volcanic eruption in modern times has uncovered a lost kingdom. More than 100,000 people died when Mount Tambora erupted on the Indonesian island of Sumbawa in 1815. Remains of a house with two occupants buried under ash have been unearthed for the first time in a discovery hailed the “Pompeii of the East“.
1815 people. This isn’t a distant ancient catastrophe.
But wait … there’s more:
Records suggest that the eruption of Mount Tambora was one of the most violent in human history. … Some 10,000 local people were killed by flows of hot gas, ash and rock. As many as 117,000 died in total as disease epidemics and starvation due to crop failures contributed to the death toll. The year 1816 became known as “the Year Without a Summer” because of the global cooling that followed the eruption due to the release of huge amounts of volcanic ash into the atmosphere.
I think this serves as a reminder that we do not control the behavior of this planet. Modern society seems to have been lulled into a false sense of security about natural disasters and catastrophes in general. It is as though out modern technologies and idea somehow hold disasters on the scale of Mount Tambora’s 1815 explosion at bay. Seems incredibly naive and stupid to me.
Distressing and kind of awesome
This freaks me out a little bit.
The idea that the results of the plague could have caused the Little Ice Age is incredibly interesting, difficult to prove, and very distressing.
Pollen and leaf data support the idea that millions of trees sprang up on abandoned farmland, soaking up carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. This would have had the effect of cooling the climate, a team from Utrecht University, Netherlands, says.
I will be interested to see if they can back this up with some really solid data. There are so many possible things that could have triggered the Little Ice Age and a combination of these and things we’ve not thought of are almost certainly the true cause.
A rocket on two wheels is the next best thing to a spaceship
Wow. I would hate LOVE it if all of the cyclists around here had thrust rockets on their bikes. That would be GREAT. Really. I mean it. Seriously, you guys. The cyclists do a lot of darting in and out of traffic as it around here, but imagine how much MORE fun to would be for the motorists and pedestrians if said cyclists had a thrust rocket on their bikes and could turn that unnerving terrifying thrilling unpredictability up a notch. Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!
[rolls eyes]
Tell you what, they can have thrust rockets on their bikes if I can mount a howitzer on my car. Seems fair to me.
‘Tis only right you should quake before my … snickersnee?
The (Merriam-Webster) Word of the Day for February 24 is: snickersnee \SNIK-er-snee\ noun: a large knife
Wow. I bet you’d never have to brandish said snickersnee because the word would certainly strike terror in the heart of your enemy. I mean, it has both snicker and snee (snickers and nee?) in it. Them’s fightin’ words. Word has it there are some knights who are known to say nee.
As Crocodile Dundee would say, “That’s not a knife snickersnee; THAT’S a knife snickersnee!”
Hillbilly is unveiling a remote controlled version that is just as tough
Consider yourself warned.
Actually, that subject line is according to Googlism, which I found via Sisiggy.
Here are some of the other results for your reading pain pleasure:
- hillbilly is working on the computer
- hillbilly is someone of appalachian ancestry” who has succeeded within the region or outside it
- hillbilly is hillbilly
- hillbilly is worth waitin’ for
- hillbilly is sitting in a bar …
- hillbilly is likely to be armed
- hillbilly is not a derogatory term
- hillbilly is whitney moyers with her miniature donkey named sunny
- hillbilly is not far from the blues
- hillbilly is out hunting rabbits
- hillbilly is me
- hillbilly is an individual characterized by being generally unrefined
- hillbilly is unusual
- hillbilly is rather a unique band
- hillbilly is fix’n to do some well work thursday
- hillbilly is not a negative word by any means
- hillbilly is a compound
- hillbilly is responsible
- hillbilly is not widely appreciated
- hillbilly is a poor farmer who lives in the southern hills or ozark regions
- hillbilly is white country music; rock ‘n’ roll is latter day
- hillbilly is a goat that likes the mountains
- hillbilly is a strange sort of person
An open letter to people who do not clean all of the snow and ice off their cars
Dear fellow drivers:
It has come to my attention that many of you do not deem it necessary to clear all of the snow and ice off of your cars before hitting the roads. This, my friends, is a mistake … a sometimes fatal mistake. It is also a seriously dumbass mistake. If you plan to get out onto icy, snowy roads, the very least you could do is clear all the damned ice and snow off your car.
Seriously, it is bad enough that we’re out on these roads to begin with, even under the best of circumstances, but to get out on the roads with anything other than completely snow/ice free car is unacceptable.
Do you think that ice sitting up there on the flat surface isn’t going to go sliding off in one piece or big chunks while you’re taking a turn or flying down the road? Where do you think it will go? I can tell you from personal experience that it could fly off the roof of your car into oncoming traffic (i.e., me in my car) like it was shot out of a cannon pointed directly at my head.
So help me understand some things:
- Why will you go to all sorts of trouble to meticulously clean the windshields and sides of the cars but not the horizontal surfaces? You’re already out there cleaning it off; you’ve already worked up a sweat; so why not clean the whole car off? It’ll feel good. I promise.
- Those of you who carve out that little porthole over the steering wheel so you can see straight ahead only are, frankly, a special kind of stupid. Why do you think that is okay? How can you possibly feel safe driving under those conditions? Or do you just feel so snug and warm and safe inside your mobile igloo that you don’t care?
- Do you seriously think it is no longer your problem once the large, heavy, and accelerating chunk or slab of ice/snow leaves your car while you are on the interstate, in a crosswalk, in a parking lot, in residential neighborhood, etc.?
- I know full well that you would be OUTRAGED if you were on the receiving end of a snow/ice missile from someone else’s car, or, as I saw this morning, a school bus. Wouldn’t you? Yes, you would.
A friend said that he thinks you people should be issued $1000 fines for not cleaning off your cars. I agree. It is such an obviously bad idea and so clearly dangerous and something that can be so easily avoided. If I, lazy as I am, can clean off my entire car before taking it out for a spin, so can you.
Thank you for reading my letter and considering the issue discussed herein. If you continue to drive around with snow/ice on your car, then understand that you deserve whatever you get and that I hope whatever that is involves pain, inconvenience, and terrible humiliation. And boils and toads. And a plague of locusts.
Most sincerely yours,
Jagosaurus
Cruel shoes, part II
These shoes almost do not need commentary they’re so … special. I have to wonder what compels people to [a] create them and [b] buy them. How could any sensible woman wear these shoes?
Consider them one by one:
Exhibit A looks like a some sort of small, chunky rodentlike or marsupial animal. A tapir maybe? Crossed with a tortoise? A shiny tortoise/marsupial/rodent with brass fixtures? Surely those are endangered.
Exhibit B is a hideous combination of green and black zebra stripe with dangling baubles and a teeny, tiny spike heel. It may be hard to tell in the photo but one of the baubles appears to be a heart-shaped googly eye. You weren’t expecting that were you? But now that you know about, I bet you want one for yourself.
Exhibit C has a peculiar curled up toe, as though made for a elfin fashionista? I couldn’t find a single angle from which this shoe looked attractive.
Wonder why there were all in the sale section….
Are you a teacher? Do you need to take a day off? Too damn bad.
(Per an article in the Chicago Tribune; yes, you have to register to access it: Chicago to target absent teachers)
Chicago is going to start tracking teacher absences because it is “a problem.†Okay …what? Part of the compensation package for a state employee is leave time. Taking one’s leave time IS NOT A CRIME.
On any given school day in Chicago, an average of 1,500 teachers, about 6 percent of the teaching staff, call in sick or take a personal day, according to a Tribune analysis of teacher payroll records. The absentee rate is highest on Fridays, when an average of 1,800 teachers don’t show, the analysis revealed.
Am I supposed to be distressed by a 6% absenteeism rate by people using their contractually obligated vacation and sick leave? Are you kidding me?
The district’s effort is an attempt to address the academic disruption that occurs in schools with large numbers of teachers calling in sick. But it also is expected to reduce the hiring of substitutes, which costs the cash-strapped system more than $10 million a year.
They don’t give a damn about academic disruption. It is all about the money. I think it also about a deeper problem: the pervasive attitude that teachers are not professionals.
I think this is made obvious by the fact that they plan too publicize teacher attendance rate although they claim, and I quote, “the idea is not to shame teachers, but to spot schools where the absences suggest a deeper morale problem.†So, you’re going to help their morale by forcing this unwanted, unnecessary, and unacceptable scrutiny?
There was a time when teachers were revered. Those who were entrusted to pass along knowledge to new generations were seen as incredibly valued and respected members of society. This was lost somewhere and it makes me sick. I admit to a heightened sensitivity because there are many teachers in my family. I planned to be one myself before other forces intervened. Obviously, not all teachers are wonderful. Some of them are horrible and a danger to their students. But the vast majority, just like in any profession, are magnificent people who are dedicated to their students and professionals of the highest order. Contractually obligated leave is a person’s to use as s/he sees fit and it is nobody’s business how it is used.
This tactic is absolutely classic. Let’s punish someone because education in this country is not very good. Sometimes it is the students and sometime it is the teachers. But it is NEVER the principal, the central office, the county, the state, or any other level of upper management. It is never treated as a systemic problem, never looked at across the entire public education system.
Moreover, I think this is a gender issue. I hate to go here but I will for a moment. I think the decline of reverence for teachers probably coincides with an increase in the number of women entering the profession. If women flock to a profession, then that profession suddenly becomes less professional. I really do believe that if teacher were dominated by men and had been for a century or more, the kind of thing they’re planning in Chicago would never happen. Frankly, this tactic smacks of harassment and intimidation to me.
Bad eggs aside, most teachers are really working hard to help your students and they are doing so under extreme duress: ever-changing testing requirements, low pay, long hours, whimsical rules and regulations coming from central office, low or no supplies, and attacks from all sides that they’re not professional enough.
If you believe teachers aren’t professionals, then I suggest you try to teach. You might learn something.
Reflections on place
I just finished reading Bloodroot: Reflections on Place by Appalachian Women Writers, and I took my time with it because I didn’t want it to end. This is a book tailor made for a reader like me. I am a woman, I am from Appalachia – a southern highlander if you will, and I love words and stories.
For the first 23 years of my life (not counting a one-year exception when I was a little baby) I lived in, on, or nestled up against the Blue Ridge Mountains. My view was always framed by rolling, ancient mountains. I knew there was a whole other world out there that didn’t look the same but I couldn’t really imagine it.
When I moved away from the mountains, I really moved away. Eastern Virginia was a whole new world for me. It was so very flat and there was so much water and sand everywhere. The plants were all different. There were seagulls. It was very disturbing for a couple of weeks. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong and why I felt so exposed. My revelation came to me while driving (not necessarily the best time for an epiphany): the horizon was completely wrong. There were no mountains.
I used to drive back to the mountains several times a year and enjoyed the change in landscape. Going east to west across southern Virginia the land starts out flat and expansive, becomes wavy, and eventually ends up tightly wrinkled and winding
All this is to say that the mountains stay with me always. They are a part of my very being. When I take time off, I go to the mountains. When I sleep best, I am in the mountains. When I feel at home, I am in the mountains. I am proud of my heritage and culture. It never once occurred to me that I didn’t have culture because I came from the mountains. It occurred to plenty of other people, however, including fellow southern highlanders who ought to have known better. People who believe we’re all inbred, pickin’ and grinnin’ simpletons. People who find the accents and voices shameful, the food quaint, the traditions primitive and unsophisticated, and the pride laughable.
I hope to move back to the mountains one day and make my home. I believe landscape helps form us. It shapes our experiences, behavior, attitudes, and whole identity. Like my friend Judy says, I am of the mountains.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.
[I am forever indebted to Marie for this book.]
